“There are forms of oppression and domination that become invisible—the new normal.”

Michel Foucault

If you have read my social posts, blog, or book, you know that I often discuss personal sovereignty. I share this because, in my experience, I have spent most of my life deferring my power, people-pleasing, and prioritizing others’ needs and wants over my own and I believe this is the experience most of us have had.  It has been a lifelong journey of micro-movements toward empowerment, but a significant turning point occurred in 2015 when I finally asked for a divorce after 15 years of wishing to do so.

“Spirit meets you at the point of your action.”

Elisa Novick.

When we choose growth and act upon it, Life takes notice and presents us with opportunities, encouragement, and support. Each time I align with my inner guidance, I find myself entering new experiences. Will we face challenges? Yes, of course; being stretched beyond our known limits is essential for growth, transformation, and expansion!

We often see people who appear to be “in their power” and assume they are “successful,” popular, wealthy, and influential. This is the conventional concept of success. However, they may possess all these things and still not be in their true power. They might be acting from ego, relying on the deferred power of others!

It is crucial to recognize the thin line between deferred power and taken power. Coercion, oppression, intimidation, and bullying are tactics used to compel individuals to defer their own power. Some people feel compelled to “win” at all costs, driven to own more, be more, and exert control. They must have it all. This can manifest subtly or overtly, but when you encounter such individuals, understand that Life is trying to teach you about wielding power—both your own and that of others—and how it impacts your feelings.

In those moments, we may feel powerless and victimized, and indeed, we are. Yet, if we have the right tools, resilience, and confidence, we can learn to advocate for ourselves. It is essential to recognize that there are critical moments when life and death hang in the balance. Would you choose death to stand firm? Or would you comply and choose life? Neither choice is wrong, but the key is understanding that you hold the power of choice.

The scene in “Braveheart” comes to mind when Mel Gibson’s character, William Wallace, screams, “FREEEEDOOOOOM!!!!!” In that moment, a deep, collective wail resonated within us all—a cry for freedom that humanity has yearned for throughout history. Freedom is the deep-rooted desire of all humanity, the freedom to be, create, live, express, build, love, have a family and community, and to feel safe. Freedom to choose who you are and how you live, as long as you do no harm to others.

We long to march toward freedom, but any freedom we gain often comes at a steep price. Consider any civil rights movement, and you will understand this truth. In my life, my journey toward freedom cost me friends, a business I built, a cherished community, and the need to start anew.

I have often felt victimized but had to recognize the power within me to change my circumstances, walk away, speak up, say no, or acquiesce and allow things to stay the same. It was my choice. My life is my domain, and my responsibility.

There has been a longstanding imbalance of power. We are accustomed to living according to external dictates. Religion tells us we cannot trust our hearts. Politics contends we are unqualified to govern ourselves, and money implies we lack what we need, necessitating the status quo.

Collectively, we have much work to do to dismantle the ideologies imposed by those in power, who profit, at the expense of the rest of us. Currently, patriarchy—the sacrificial system under which we live—pushes back hard and will do whatever it takes to maintain control.

We can remain silent, hoping that our leaders know what they are doing and that everything will be alright, but “nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.” Reclaiming our domain starts with choice followed by learning to use our voice.

When something is dying yet desires to live, it becomes savage. We witness the pointing of fingers and blaming others for the challenges we face. The belief that getting rid of “them” will improve everything only perpetuates the cycle of continued sacrificing of people. When was it ever great? This romanticization of history is a false narrative leading us to search backward for solutions! If the answers were behind us, we wouldn’t be where we are now.

Let’s learn from the past and move forward! Dehumanizing and vilifying others has never brought us the freedom, beauty, and joy we seek to experience; it is destructive to all.

Consider these statistics: It wasn’t until 1920 that women were “allowed” to vote, and 1965 for black individuals. Women in the U.S. gained the right to open bank accounts and hold credit cards independently in 1974, with the passage of the Equal Credit Opportunity Act. As I write this, there is a pushback against voting rights for certain minorities, including women (see the SAVE Act), and the Equal Credit Opportunity Act is facing challenges as well through executive order. This indicates we are losing our rights. We are indeed moving backward.

Currently, ¾ of Congress consists of white men. All but one president has been a white man. 85% of the Fortune 500 companies are run by white men, and 90% of billionaires also belong to this group. If one group has maintained the majority of power for an extended period, it is likely due to a system designed with “power-over” dynamics, which compels the masses to defer their power to those in control.

Can you imagine if we began to embrace our power? Imagine a world where we embodied the Constitutional idea of “we the people” and we aligned with the belief that all are created equal. This would be threatening to those in power. Perhaps those who awaken to such an understanding are labeled as “woke,” as if it were a derogatory term. I am woke, and I will wear it as a badge of honor.

I have long believed we are in a time of great consciousness shift. This means our beliefs, perceptions, and understanding of reality are evolving quickly. Sweeping change can feel overwhelming, unsettling, frightening, uncertain, and exhausting. When a system is unraveling, there is chaos. We can remain the same or we allow for growth and change.

So how can we create change?

It starts with you and me. We must choose to take responsibility for the quality of our lives. We must step into our sovereignty and take responsibility for our domain. As Gandhi said, “We must be the change we want to see.” It takes practice and learning about power dynamics to discern when you are in your power. I believe it will require us to embody love and humility. Humility to admit that we have allowed a system built on injustice to continue knowing that many were not living lives we would want to live. We allowed that. We begin with ourselves then slowly move into empowering others. Empowered people, empower people!

Here are three strategies for stepping into your sovereignty:

• Self-Reflection and Awareness: take time to understand your values, beliefs and boundaries. Journaling, meditation or working with a coach can help you gain clarity about what sovereignty means to you and idenify areas in your life where you may feel disempowered. This self-awareness is the foundation for making empowered choices.
• Set Clear Boundaries: Establish and communicate your boundaries in relationships and interactions. This not only protects your energy and well-being but also reinforces your autonomy. Practice saying, “no”, when necessary and prioritize your needs to cultivate a sense of control over your life.
• Embrace Decision-Making: Take ownership of your choices, both big and small. Start by making decisions that reflect your true desires and aspirations, rather than succumbing to external pressures or expectations. Trust yourself to navigate challenges and learn from your experiences, reinforcing your sense of agency.

We live in a world we often describe as a “rat race.” We acknowledge that those at the top have frequently stepped on others to reach and keep their position, and this is termed “Patriarchy.” America is a colonized country with white males at the helm for centuries, but this issue extends further back. We exist within a system based on the sacrifice of the many for the benefit of a select few. This is woven into the fabric of our systems and psyche. It will take each of us time to unravel the threads for ourselves so that we can be free from the constraints of it.

I am here for this. I am here for you. I am anchoring love for our planet. I am practicing standing in my sovereignty and acting as a guide for others.

We are at a moment where those in leadership will do anything to cling to power. If we don’t stand up now, it will be more challenging to do so later.

It’s easy to believe we played no part in creating this reality, but each of us has. Changing it requires healing and transforming ourselves, so that we align more closely with our true nature: Love.

I will err on the side of Love and Life. I will answer the inner collective cry for freedom.

We never thought it could happen here, but it is happening.

If you need support, want to learn more, or seek guidance, please reach out to me.