At birth or shortly after, infants are plump and pudgy, smiling and cooing, winning the hearts of all who see them, especially parents, family and friends.
We often characterize young ones as being “connected” to The Divine, whatever word you use to describe that which is “other” but is flowing through all things.
An infant’s nervous system hasn’t yet learned to “filter” The Field. They are receiving the Morse Code of the universe directly into their tissue. This is why they stare at “nothing” and smile—they are witnessing the Geometry of the Other Side that adults have been trained to call “empty space.”
I remember when Corban, my second son, was young. He moved his arms and hands in ways that fascinated me. It looked like he was playing with fairies in the air. When I asked what he was doing, he told me he could see particles floating around. He was interacting with them. This brought back a memory of me doing the same in my own childhood.
But eventually, the ‘Morse Code’ of the Divine is drowned out by the noise of the world. We encounter the first cold wind of rejection, the first rigid system, or the first ‘Initial Condition’ that tells us our light is too much—or not enough.
The Great Dissociation: When Survival Outpaces Belonging
“A child is a being that has not yet been ‘un-homed’ by the distractions of the world. Their eyes see not the thing, but the Light that makes the thing visible.” — Meister Eckhart
I believe that when we are born, especially in a safe loving environment, we are fully embodied by our Soul. Over time, through experiences, we learn to filter and fragment. We survival-proof our psyche to fit a “power-over” world. This world forces roles, narratives, and systems upon us to keep us small.
Eventually, the noise of the world drowns out the ‘Morse Code’ of the Divine. We encounter the first cold wind of rejection or the first rigid system. This ‘Initial Condition’ tells us our light is too much—or not enough. Thus, we choose to put the fullness of our Soul’s light in the rafters to remain ‘safe.’ Belonging becomes the currency we use to pay for safety. Often, we don’t realize until adulthood that we traded true belonging for fitting in.
There is a specific kind of famine that doesn’t happen in the stomach, but in the nervous system. I call it the Starvation of the Soul.
For many of us, this starvation didn’t begin with a lack of food or a lack of “things.” It began in the Quiet Volume of the rafters—that silent, elevated space where the soul waits for the environment to match its frequency. It began when our souls realized, perhaps even before our first breath, that the ground wasn’t yet safe enough to hold the full weight of our light.
We learned to hover.
The Hovering Soul
When the womb or home broadcasts the frequency of rejection, fear, or ‘un-belonging,’ the soul makes a structural decision. It doesn’t leave, but it doesn’t fully land, either. Instead, our Soul stays in a state of high-frequency suspension. It hovers just above the tissue and the bone.
We become “tender” children and the “Seers” who can read the code of a room before we even walk into it. Our bodies are highly conductive, hyper-vigilant, and deeply sensitive, but we are also disembodied. We are starving because we are trying to survive on the “scraps” of safety found in the rafters, while our bodies—our actual homes—remain empty. Our bodies become feedback loops of trauma narratives and survival mechanisms.
Re-Threading the Nervous System
The “Wild Medicine” is realizing that your nervous system is not a fixed, broken thing. It is a Grid that can be re-threaded.
We have been taught to treat our trauma as a story we must retell until it loses its sting. But the soul doesn’t want another story; it wants a Sanctuary. It wants to know that the “Initial Conditions” of the past no longer dictate the “Geometry” of the present.
Re-threading the nervous system is the act of consciously lowering the soul from the rafters and anchoring it into the “ground” of our bones. It is the work of moving from Power-Over (trying to control the fear) to Power-With (collaborating with the body’s own resilience).
The Feast of Presence
How do we feed a starving soul?
- Acknowledge the Hover: Notice when you are “squinting” at life from the ceiling. Disassociated, numb, or hypervigilant.
- The Language of Sensation: Stop looking for a “why” and start looking for a “where.” Where does the ground feel solid? Where does the sizzle of the pan or the scent of the garden provide a “Synchronicity Spike” of safety? What does peace, safety, serenity feel like? When do you feel those things? How can you curate safety for yourself?
- Paint the Spirals: A year after Helene ravaged our town, I found a “garden goddess statue” and named her “Goddess Helene”, which means torch or light. She is adorned with bright colors, a heart and spirals that I painted on her hands and growing up her body from the earth; symbols of healing. The statue stands tall, arms spread up to the sky, representing the growth, transformation and wholeness that comes from chaos and destruction. Like a storm that is renamed into a goddess, we take the “Ravaging” of our history and we paint the heart and the spirals of evolution onto it. Re-coding our nervous systems and lives. The Field will respond to our intentional shifts of energy. We become “lightworkers or grid workers” of our own lives and it ripples out into the world.
We are not “fixing” ourselves. We are simply adjusting how we meet the world.
If you are feeling the hunger of your Soul searching for Home; it is the sign of the soul looking for a place to land. Follow the breadcrumbs of light, love, fun, synchronicities and signs, they will lead you Home. When you feel the Soft Sorrow come for a visit, It is the weight of the Light becoming heavy enough to touch the earth. Your body softening to allow more of your Soul’s Light to inhabit. Then you will experience a greater capacity for peace and joy..
Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood.
“Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting: The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star, Hath had elsewhere its setting, And cometh from afar: Not in entire forgetfulness, And not in utter nakedness, But trailing clouds of glory do we come From God, who is our home: Heaven lies about us in our infancy!” — Wordsworth
Wordsworth is describing the Topological Persistence of the soul. He’s saying that infants arrive with their “Crystalline Codes” fully intact, before the “Ooze” of the world begins to layer over them.
The Code is intact. Your Code is unfolding. The Light is on. The Vessel is ready. It is time to Land.
An Invitation to Inhabit
If you have felt your soul hovering in the rafters, waiting for a safe place to land, I invite you into the Sovereign Soul Container (SSC).
This is a three-month facilitated journey designed to help you move from survival to sanctuary. Together, we will re-thread the nervous system, clear the “Initial Conditions” of the past, and anchor your Soul’s Light into the marrow of your bones.
Hito no tainai ni yadoru — The Soul’s deliberate choice to inhabit.
Artist’s Note: The code within the image carries the frequency of ‘Hito no tainai ni yadoru’—the Soul’s deliberate choice to inhabit and animate the physical Vessel.
0 Comments