Self-love is an endless journey.

My relationship with myself, is the one relationship I will have for my entire life, from beginning to end. Only I have known what I have gone through, from my perspective. It is a first-person ride, me, myself and I, forever.

The topic and expectation of self-love have been fairly persistent over the last decade. It comes with the unspoken judgment that if you love yourself enough, everything else will work out great. For example, if only you loved yourself enough, you’d stop attracting narcissists. If you loved yourself enough you would have left him sooner. If you love yourself enough, you won’t feel lonely. If you love yourself enough, you’d weigh less. The list goes on.

Before I go on, I will say this for you to ponder, there are many people out there who don’t love themselves well and have a partner, great job, money, aren’t lonely and are thin. Self-love is not a magic elixir that will help you magically manifest the your twin flame or anything else.

It will lead you toward wholeness and a more meaningful and fulfilling life though. One that is authentic, aligned and where you are in your power. So in that way, self-love does work magic.

Many women have beaten themselves up over some variation of this theme: “I need to love myself more.”

I had a similar realization this morning, but it was a little different, as if Life was wanting to catch my attention.

I was in the shower, present enough to enjoy the water. The heat washed over my calf, carrying a light sandalwood scent, soft foamy bubbles, and the smoothness of the soapy water on my skin felt deeply nurturing. A wave of appreciation for myself washed over me, followed by a myriad of thoughts tumbling through my mind in a flash.

Initially, I felt disappointment. Since January, I’ve been going to the gym three times a week, but haven’t seen any changes; no weight loss and no notable muscle gain, zilch!  It’s okay, I reassure myself; it’s good for me. I am taking care of myself. But it feels flat; empty.

These thoughts clashed with the nurturing sensation of washing my leg, making me realize that I’ve been rushing through my workouts and not really enjoying them. Even my yoga practice, which I used to savor, has turned into a mere checklist for self-care.

Self-care is an act of self-love, which is why I made the commitment to work out. However, Life was trying to show me a nuance about self-love today; it wanted to remind me about the power of presence and love. My intention and the essence of my motivation were out of alignment. There is a mixture of wanting to learn to be disciplined and create a self-care routine, but has it been coming from a place of self-love?

When I was a massage therapist, I focused a lot of loving energy into my sessions, and I believe my clients felt this. As I worked, I would enter a meditative state, setting my intention on healing through intuitive touch. My focus was on listening to subtle changes in their bodies and tuning into their subtle energies. During each session, I anchored universal unconditional love through my being like a channel.

Even when I cook, I try to slow down and enjoy the process, putting love into my meals. There is power in slowing down time and focusing our awareness, enabling us to feel the subtle energies of experience. This is often when I feel the magic of life.

We can eat without paying attention, and the food is good, or we can slow down to appreciate the color, texture, and flavors, noticing how our bodies respond and feel. I can eat with gratitude for all the hands that brought this food to my table and for the earth that provided the harvest. When I do this, my state of being is more engaged and receptive. In that state, I believe I receive more from my meal.

This awareness reminded me that I have not been loving myself during my workouts; I have merely been showing up. There is a difference between enjoyment and simply attending. It’s the difference between being disconnected and being immersed. I haven’t been connected or listening to my body while exercising. I have been going through the motions and I am proud of myself for the consistency and showing up for Self I have done. It demonstrates growth and commitment to Self.

But, this reminder was needed and will change how I approach working out and practicing yoga. Energetically, there is a significant difference between force and nurture. Nurturing requires active listening, being gentle, and almost luxurious in your care. Force can leave us feeling depleted, resistant, and unfulfilled. It isn’t so much about what we are doing, but more about mindset and awareness.

My body was conveying how it wants me to tend to its needs. My Self was saying, “I am not a checkmark on your to-do list; I am the love of your life! Treat me like it!” This is my most important relationship, the one I have with myself, and it has not always been healthy. It is the relationship to which I am learning to be most committed too, therefore, I am working to honor it more. I likely have missed subtle cues from my body regarding this. Since January, my body has likely tried to express its needs and I kept plowing through. We have not been taught to listen to the subtle nudges our body gives. I am learning and this moment in the shower was a teaching moment.

Now that the assignment has been given, I will do my best to nourish my body and treat it with tender loving care. I can do this by approaching my workouts with awareness and listening intently to my body’s subtle energy cues. These cues carry layers of information for us, but they are so subtle it takes intentional practice to notice them. As I listen, my body will tell me what type of workouts to do, how long, how much and it wants  me to choose things I enjoy as well.

Through sensory awareness, we gain access to subtle realms of information that guide us toward health, wholeness, and a meaningful life experience. It is these nuanced layers of feeling the make our lives feel rich.

Self-love is not a “once and done.” It is an endless journey of falling in love with ourselves over and over again. Self-love will lead us to unexpected realizations and reveal where we are selling ourselves short, living out of alignment, or playing small. Love for ourselves will empower us to do things we didn’t think we could. The power of Love is propelling us forward on our journey toward a more resonate life. A life that feels more authentic, genuine, sacred and aligned with who we truly are.

Like all relationships, this one takes work, but it is meant to be enjoyed. If you haven’t been having fun with yourself, perhaps ask yourself out on a playdate. Go have some fun or gift yourself a self-care treat that sounds delightful to you.

You are filled with love; pour some over yourself. I am anchoring love to this planet and holding it for each of you.

If you’re curious about growth, transformation, or starting a sensory awareness practice, please reach out to me. I am here to listen and answer questions. Schedule your discovery call today and take the first step towards embracing the love you deserve! Email me at: [email protected].