Jesus is a controversial person, because many believe that he is god. Also because many have been slain in his name and many have willingly laid down their lives to serve him.

Currently, in America, the rise of Christian Nationalism is causing division and harm, so I am writing about my experiences with Jesus in the hope of showing the stark difference between the two, because Christian Nationalism has very little to do with Jesus except using his name to justify harm, control and hate.

In the early 90’s, I came to a pursuit of knowing Jesus, not just learning scripture or knowing about him, but a pursuit of a deeply intimate experience with Jesus, as the apostle Paul expressed, I too have experienced, “What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.”.

Now, some of you who know me well may be scratching your heads because you know that I no longer identify as Christian. l laid down that identity long ago for two reasons; firstly Christians would not consider me a Christian. Instead they would label me, “heretic”, back slider or question whether I was ever a “true” believer to begin with. Secondly, Jesus did not desire to start another religion. This fact is very clear to me, so to see be part of a religion using his name or to see a movement using his name to promote cruelty is painful for me.

For over 15 years I went to church multiple times a week and I was in ministry. I read my bible daily, it is well loved, marked up and worn. I taught women’s groups, worked as the church administrator, went on mission trips, lead home groups, sang on the worship team, led prayer meetings and married the worship pastor. The Bible was my guide book. I took notes at church and believed all the things until I realized that some teachings do not align with Christ.

During this time, I had many beautiful spiritual experiences with Jesus. Deeply rich and personal. He would come to me and reveal spiritual truths to me about myself, Life, Love and the world.

It was in this season that I learned of the connection between the Divine and the Earth. Romans 8 refers to this. They have an unfolding plan that they are birthing for our growth and evolution from tribal ways of a power-over sacrificial systems  of division, separation and violence to seeing our “oneness”. We are all connected, nothing is separate; including us from Source.

This Jesus is also known as Christ Consciousness. It is an awareness that awakens in the heart, soul and body; a knowing of Divine Love for self and others. Christ Consciousness, powerfully dissolves the ideologies of man that keep us separate and in patterns of abuse, turmoil and hardship. Slowly, it works like a healing salve that brings reconciliation to our true Selves, connecting us to the Love that we are at our core and to our sovereignty. Christ leads us toward freedom, love, beauty, and truth.

Jesus said, “the Kingdom of Heaven is within you.” This is very true. Whatever you see in the world is a reflection of what is inside of you. We are co-creating this reality together. Jesus knew this and was saying, heaven is inside you, create that, here on earth. I believe the seed of “heaven” is inside us waiting to awaken, grown and become here on Earth.

We are at a precipice, a choice point, just as in Jesus’ day. Power struggles. Human rights being trampled upon. People feeling the stress of injustice being crushed under the weight of those in power.

We, the people, can continue on in fear, hate and harm, OR, we can recognize the harm that has been done and move toward healing, reconciliation and solutions that work for everyone.

The Jesus that I know desires this. I know this because he spent his time with outcasts, spoke truth in power and challenged those in power, he exposed the power-over system and challenged us to live collaboratively. He sowed the seeds of love and said, “whatever you do to another human is what you do to me.” (paraphrased)

Jesus came to me over and over until I knew that I was loved and not a sinner. He showed me time and again that I am one with god, that I am divine. This knowing became so strong that I left organized religion and my spirituality expanded in beautiful ways.

The check list of rules fell away. My love expanded to include the whole world, I began to see beyond the worlds systems of politics, religion and finance. My perspective shifted, I discovered my true self along with a world of goodness and possibility.

I realized that every soul is divine, no one is going to Hell and that it is our responsibility to create a better reality. There are many challenges that we face because we have made quite a mess of things. Hurting each other and our planet because we don’t know who we are and we don’t know our abundance.

There are innovations and solutions to solve these issues; the answers are lying dormant inside of someone. We must empower one another because the answers we need are in people. Some child is carrying the cure to cancer another is carrying the understanding, humility and wisdom needed for compassionate leadership. Divine sparks of inspiration waiting to birth a new and better way are inside of someone, maybe even you.

Do you see?

We must lay down our swords, literal and verbal. Jesus said, “If you live by the sword, you will die by the sword.” Violence only leads to more violence. Us versus them does not lead us toward the solutions we desire.

Here are lyrics from one of my favorite worship songs by Kevin Prosch. These lyrics express the Jesus I know, because it is the cry of the Divine heart.

You have taken the precious

From the worthless and given us

Beauty for ashes, love for hate

You have chosen the weak things

Of the world to shame that which is strong

And foolish things to shame the wise

You are help to the helpless

Strength to the stranger

And a Father to the child who′s left alone

You’ve invited the thirsty

To come to the waters

And those who have no money come and buy

Jesus came to me when I was poor, ugly, an orphan, hungry, lonely, cold, thirsty and an outcast. When I was ready to die, and believe me I was ready to die. He came to me during a time in my life when I was having suicidal ideation fairly regularly. My near death experience saved my life, showed me there was another way to live and led me to knowing Jesus.

Since then, November 1992, I have learned to love and live and I have build heaven for myself here on earth.  If I can do it, we all can.

Lastly, the Jesus I know is a REVOLUTIONARY!!!

As I mentioned, he challenged the rulers of his day, political, religious and the wealthy alike. He exposed the power-over dynamics of the worlds systems.

He told his followers, “the kingdom of Heaven is within”, few understood, but he was inviting them to live outside of the worlds systems. Jesus was saying, “you have the power of choice to live differently” and for a short time after his death they did.

They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles.  All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.  Acts 2: 42

Try to read beyond the words of the culture and time and see what I see.

A group of people who were taking care of one another, living sustainably and in community. People will tell me this is impossible when I suggest such things, but it is possible. I also believe that they were witnessing what we would call miracles; healings and such. It is my belief that we have abilities that we do not regularly harness because we have forgotten our true nature. It is time to remember.

This revolutionary Jesus would welcome the foreigner, break bread with the outcast and feed the poor.

He exposed the patriarchal power-over force that the leaders of his time used, saying they were not really strong, that god would use the weak things of the world to shame the. He saw how they used violence and fear to keep control. He would not approve of shows of power like military parades, self aggrandizing like posting huge pictures of oneself on government buildings or using the military to control people or silencing voices who do not agree. Jesus would not succumb to voices of fear, violence and blaming other groups of people because he knew that there is no fear in love or truth.

He would say that the proud religious leaders showing off their “love of God”, were blind guides for they could not see god in their fellow humans. They instead judged Jesus for healing on the Sabbath. There are rules that the religious follow and use it as a weapon, but Jesus knew the Spirit of the Law and it was always rooted in grace, mercy, love and forgiveness.

The Jesus I know welcomed women into their power. They were friends, followers, leaders and equals. It was women who first tended to his body after his death, helped fund his ministry and took roles in leadership in the early church; as apostles even! Jesus was calling out the current patriarchal power structures by standing up for the woman being accused of adultery saying, “let he who has no sin cast the first stone”.  And let us consider the apostle Paul’s words to the Ephesians, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

When you come to know Christ in your consciousness, awareness, wokeness, you will see, know, understand that all things are connected and that we are one. There is no separation, separation is an illusion. Therefore, there is no tribe, gender or ownership; only stewardship of our bodies, the sacred temples we reside in and for what we have during this life. We are all one in Christ Consciousness. In this mindset, an individual will recognize and honor the sovereignty of another and live by the Spirit of the Law, love they neighbor as thyself. Cause no harm to another or the earth. This is the meaning of it all is; Love yourself. Love Life. Love Others.

We must acknowledge the great harm that has been done to our fellow humans in America and the great harm that is continuing to happen now if we desire healthy change. We cannot continue down a path of bloodshed and expect things to get better.

For my Christian Nationalist friends, Jesus never once mentioned gun/weapon rights, immigration, homosexuality, gender or abortion. Not one time. Never came out of his mouth! These were not hot topic buttons for Jesus. Yet, these topics will trigger the F*ck out of some Christians. They cannot see how they are forcing their ideology on others and wanting to control other peoples lives. This type of forcing is continuing the harmful power-over dynamic that Jesus spoke out against.

When I left the church I didn’t leave Jesus. He and I stayed close for many years and it confused me for a while. “If I am no longer a Christian, why does Jesus keep coming to me?”, I asked a shaman friend, who had gone to seminary and left the church, she answered, “that is because he is your spirit guide.” This rang true to me and that is how I have related to him since. He has been a friend, brother and guide for much of my life. Over the last few days he has been coming to me with memories of experiences, lessons and wisdom. In his gentle way he has reminded to me of the truth and to stay humble, soft, compassionate and loving. He warned me to remember that we are one and to not judge. He gave me this message to share. I hope it has touched your heart and soul.

I will close with this memory of a time he came to me during quiet meditation. Jesus came to me with a vision of himself on a sail boat in the ocean, he was telling me to catch a fish and when I looked, I saw that the entire ocean was fish. His message to me, us, was that we are abundant, all we need is available if we share. Christ consciousness, for me, was initially found on the pages of the Bible, but it isn’t only found there. I had prolific spiritual experiences and can tell you it is much more expansive than what can be found in that book. It lives inside of me and you waiting to be awakened.

It is time to wake up! O sleeper, don’t slumber—the time is now. Rise. Shake off the dust of the old self and discover the truth of who you are.

If we hear anyone speaking hate or violence, don’t remain silent, even if we agree with their ideology or stand on the same side. Instead, show and demonstrate the way of love and life. Be the change you want to see; if we see someone in need do what we can to help. Be kind. It is this simple.

Love yourself. Love your Life. Love others! This is the way, the truth and the life.

The Jesus I know spoke truth in love, hoping everyone would remember who they are and where they come from: divinity living in an earthen vessel.

Welcome, travelers!