Katniss Everdeen, in her best dress waiting to discover who will be “tribute”

Recently, I was doing some thinking about victim mentality. I never considered “victim” as part of my story. Victims were the other people who felt sorry for themselves or people who went through horrific experiences. I don’t have horrific stories. I have stories that are similar to many others. Having more than a few decades under my belt, I understand that each one of us has had experiences that break and shake us to our core.  We all have our scars and stories, but what I can see clearly now is that how we relate to the past can determine our future.

My life has changed dramatically in the last few years, for the better, especially this last one. With each step forward it seems there is a line, a previous limitation because of belief or mindset that I want to crossover, overcome, transcend, transmute, or shatter.

In December, I took a huge leap and signed up for a coaching course as I wanted to expand my business and include coaching people in their journeys and felt that I have all the tools needed to do so.  As soon as I leaped, I hit a wall. Fear, scarcity, doubt, insecurity and more all rose up to the surface. And what I found, I did not expect to find, I had a degree of victim mentality. Very subtle, but it was there. Once the light was shined in on this truth, I began to see it’s far reaching tentacles throughout my life. It was extremely painful to grapple with this, but the wonderful part of doing self work is that once you see something plainly that truth begins to set you free.

Wanting to reframe my story, tell it in a new way where I am no longer a victim, I asked myself, if I am not the victim than what am I? The opposite of a victim would be victor, but that wasn’t right. Victor didn’t feel like the right answer. It isn’t the end game I a was going for, so if I am no longer the victim than who am I? I pondered. The word victor reminded me of The Hunger Games. I thought of Katniss Everdeen and how she lived a life of scarcity and victimhood in District 12.

I pictured her living in Victors Village after winning the Hunger Game. Over the course of the story she was known as the “Girl on Fire” and as the “Mocking Jay” each of these names were given to her by other people who were trying to use her for their purposes (to squeeze her into their stories). I thought about her character and how they couldn’t control her, because Katniss had a keen sense of who she was so when opportunities came for her to speak up, stand up, step in, rise, and ignite a movement she did so naturally.

There is a moment when she is being filmed for propaganda, in hopes to stir up rebellion against the Capitol, and the leaders become frustrated with her. It seemed that the more she tried to be what they wanted the more she missed the mark. It was when she was herself that she was able to ignite the flame, embody “Girl on Fire” or be “The Mocking Jay”.  As I thought about Katniss, I knew my answer. The key to no longer having victim mentality was a deeper understanding, love and outward expression of self. Be me. Authenticity.

Now, here is the rub, not being the victim means taking responsibility for everything in my life. Take responsibility for all my choices, all the allowances, all the times I went along, stayed quiet etc. It also means that I need to change the story I tell and take risks to express myself more fully, do what feels good to me, trust my intuition, follow my passion no matter what anyone else things, says or does. It means tapping into my inner being and listening to that above all else. That is what will transform a person from victim to girl on fire; from victim to empowered me. This is the rise of a Phoenix from the ashes. Beauty for ashes will be given to those who RISE!

Before the first Games Katniss says to Peeta, “Only I keep wishing I could think of a way…to show the Capitol they don’t own me. That I’m more than just a piece in their Games.”

Katniss refused to let others write her story, that is what made her powerful. She gave herself to herself. She followed her inner compass. She refused to let others “own” her. She refused to go along sleepily. She changed her story. By the end she was no longer Katniss Everdeen of District 12 hiding her true self secretly in the woods. She was Katniss Everdeen; living the life she truly wanted.

There is no victim left in this fiery Katniss Everdeen