After my meeting with my two moms subtle changes began to happen. (please read; Meeting my 2 Moms)

I quite naturally began calling my bio-mom, Kathy, that is her name. It just started tumbling off my lips and felt so right and true. This was the truth that aligned with my choices, her decision and my mom’s desires. It is the truth that is aligned with all that was, is and will always be.

Peace filled me with this revelation. Parts of me were clicking into place and coming home. A homecoming of my bones. The bones I have gathered and sung over since I was a little girl. Singing soothed me, was a prayer and safe place of expression when words and feelings were too much for me, singing was my solace and sanctuary. I poured my soul out and the universe heard every note. 

In hindsight, I can see how every pain released and longing called in has been fulfilled throughout my beautiful life.

Little Judy, she carried so much pain for me. The weight of grief that she carried was bone crushing, this is why it took me so long to gather all the pieces and fragments of myself. Each one I found like a treasure and placed it where it belonged like a jigsaw puzzle. 

Once every piece was lovingly placed, I sang over my bones and fragments. I cried over them. I learned to love them. I poured my soul into them. They began to mend and knit together.

My old stories released as soul filled the nooks, cracks, crannies, spaces, cells and atoms of my being. Each bone fragment of me had its own homecoming. Now the last bits and pieces were coming home. My heart filled with lightness it never knew. My life now is expressed from a higher state of being that I knew was possible, but doubted would ever be achieved. It isn’t that I had not felt joy, pleasure, happiness, peace or contentment, but I previously did not have the capacity to live from this higher state and sustain it. Now, I am.

Now, I am.